


little things

by blamethenargless



Series: Catradora Week 2018 [5]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Adora (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Didn't Know They Were Dating, F/F, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Light Angst, Memories, Oblivious Adora (She-Ra), Past Relationship(s), Sleepy Cuddles, glimmadora if you squint real hard, glimmer does not like being woken
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-03 21:19:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17291636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blamethenargless/pseuds/blamethenargless
Summary: Adora lies in bed, and, every night for the first month without fail, feels the phantom presence of a girl wrapped in her arms. The ghost of a body’s heat warming her chest. A shadow where Catra used to be.orHabits are hard to memorize, and harder to break. Eventually, though, Adora learns to replace some old habits with some new ones.





	little things

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all! This is my submission for day five of Catradora Week 2018. I chose the prompt 'habits'. As always, everything belongs to the creators. Enjoy!

It’s the little things Adora misses the most.

She’ll get knocked down in training, a blunt arrow to the chest, and Glimmer’s hands will haul her up wrapped around her wrists. Not hand-to-hand, arm-crossed-over-arm the way Catra did. She’ll go to get something to eat and never has to worry about Bow stealing food off her plate, never has to lovingly and playfully bat his wandering hands away from her meal. She’ll never feel the curl of a tail against her wrist, or the brush of Catra’s hair against her cheek as she leans over her shoulder. On Bright Moon, people aren’t as touchy-feely as Catra was. There’s this layer of formality that drapes itself, uninvited, over every little thing. Adora can’t even hug Glimmer without feeling self-conscious, at first.

Adora lies in bed, and, every night for the first month without fail, feels the phantom presence of a girl wrapped in her arms. The ghost of a body’s heat warming her chest. A shadow where Catra used to be.

It makes it very, very difficult to sleep.

In fact, almost everything is difficult, at the beginning. She’s used to Catra’s habits, yes, but she’s also used to the habits of every other Horde soldier. Sixteen-or-so years training with the same group of people means she knows the way they fight, know the way they think, know the way they operate in one cohesive unit, like a battering ram of order and firepower.

Bright Moon is… different, to say the least. Adora has to retrain herself in almost everything. She moves away from Glimmer’s attacks with muscle memory, and stretches out to strike where Catra’s exposed flank would be—she always dropped cover on her left side for just a second after throwing a punch. She hits air, though, because Glimmer’s already teleported her way behind Adora and pressed her blunt-tipped staff to the small of Adora’s back. And it takes a long, long time for Adora to get to a place where she knows Glimmer enough to know when to turn and kick and make contact with a break in her armor.

A long, long time.

And some habits, she thinks, will never be trained out of her. Whenever Angella raises her temper, whenever some tension or fight breaks out, Adora’s quick to throw herself in the middle of it, to say  _ hit me instead. _

That was awkward to explain the first time it happened.

Of course, Angella would never hit anyone, especially Glimmer. But Adora still holds a fear between her shoulderblades to protect from the blow she assumes will strike there. 

Eventually, the Fright Zone gets almost replaced. Eventually, those habits die, and Adora’s offering up her wrist for Glimmer to pull her to standing, and never fears that Bow will steal her last bite of dessert. Eventually, she teaches herself new ways, new habits, a new life on Bright Moon. She still retains some reactions that the Horde has pressed deep into her bones. She’s distrustful of authority, and always fears the worst in punishment. She sometimes finds herself taking wrong turns, even after months in Bright Moon, because she’s walking some imaginary route back to the barracks, back to her place in Catra’s bed, in Catra’s arms.

That’s the one thing that will never,  _ ever  _ be replaced. Adora falls asleep cold and lonely, wishing for Catra to curl up beneath her and wish her a whispered goodnight.

And some point, Adora just.  _ Breaks _ . It’s half-past one, and she’s woken from a nightmare that wriggled its way into her gut and threw her around until her eyes were bloodshot and her limbs seized up. It takes her a minute, two, three to unfreeze her body, and another minute, four, five to work up the courage to leave her bed. She tiptoes down the hall, her sword in her hand and her heart in her throat. Darkness swirls across her mind in a way it hasn’t since her first few days after leaving the Fright Zone.

Glimmer’s door looms in front of her, and she raps on it twice in quick succession. It opens soundlessly, and Adora steps inside, shutting it roughly behind her.

Glimmer’s standing in front of her, eyes sleepy and hair a mess. “The hell, Adora,” she mumbles. “It’s early-o-clock and this is a  _ crime _ .” She rubs at her face. “Also, Bow isn’t here, so if you need, like, emotional help, I think he’s better at that. And if not, please go to  _ bed _ .”

Adora sighs, twitching her fingers. “This is a weird request.”

“Shoot,” Glimmer says. “I’ve heard a lot of weird stuff from you, Force Captain.”

Adora’s laugh is forced, and she feels her heart beating faster as she asks, “Can I sleep with you tonight? I’m just...I’m really missing the Fright Zone, crazy as that sounds. And I’m really missing my routine there. And...and I’m really missing Catra. I know you don’t like her. And I shouldn’t either. But that doesn’t change the fact that we have a history, and—”

“Okay,” Glimmer says simply. “She was your girlfriend or something. I get it.” She teleports back onto her bed and falls dramatically onto it.

“I wasn’t- we didn’t- she wasn’t my  _ girlfriend _ . Girlfriends weren’t allowed back there. That was made very clear. They never really explained what a girlfriend was, but I’m sure Catra wasn’t that.” Adora treks up the steps to where Glimmer lies. “I mean, Catra and I were very close, and she showed a lot more affection to me than she did to other people, or than the people here show to me, but—”

“Adora. They didn’t even tell you what a girlfriend  _ was _ , but they said you couldn’t have one? That’s so—that’s ridiculous _.  _ But the real question is: did she kiss you?” Glimmer interrupts again, a glint of amusement in her eye.

“Kiss...I’m not sure I know what that is.”

“You’re not serious. Please tell me you’re not serious. It’s like this,” Glimmer says, and presses her lips softly to Adora’s cheek.

“Oh. Uh, yes. I did that to her, in fact. On her mouth. I don’t know what it is, or what it means, it’s just that I had read it in a book I found in Shadow Weaver’s chambers once, so I assumed it was some gesture of friendship? Or-or love, I guess? So I just...kissed her?”

Glimmer laughs, and the sound rings out loud and clear. It’s nothing like Catra’s laugh—Catra had a softer chuckle, and her whole body would shake with the sound, as if it was vibrating inside her chest. Glimmer, though, bends her body forwards as she laughs, letting it all out. “Adora, you were totally girlfriends,” she says. After a second, though, her gaze hardens. “You’re still going to have to fight that Horde scum, you know that?”

Adora sighs. “Yeah. I know. And I can do it. They’re evil,” she says firmly. But a small part of her whispers that she’s just  _ trying to convince yourself you could land a strike on Catra. You know you couldn’t, Adora.  _

Adora choses to ignore that voice for now, though, and to cross that tattered, burning bridge when she finally arrives there. So she lies down and throws her arms around Glimmer and thinks  _ no, this will  _ never  _ be able to replace Catra. _

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos/Comments always appreciated :)


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